On a cruise ship, a woman goes to the bar and requests a Scotch with two drops of water.

She says when the bartender hands her the beverage,

I’m taking this trip to honor my 80th birthday, which is today.

The waiter remarks,

I’ll get you a drink because it’s your birthday. Actually, I’m paying for this one.

The lady on her right remarks as the woman finishes her beverage,

I’d want to buy you a drink as well.

The elderly lady says,

“I’m grateful. I’d like a Scotch with two drops of water, please, bartender.

“Coming up,” the bartender says.

The man on her left says to her as she drinks that drink,

“I’d like to purchase one for you as well.”

The elderly lady says,

“I’m grateful. I’d have another Scotch with two drops of water, please, bartender.

The bartender responds, “Coming right up.”

He says as he hands her the beverage,

I’m eager to know, Ma’am, why the Scotch has only two drops of water.

“Sonny, when you’re my age, you’ve learned how to hold your liquor,” the elderly woman responds.

Holding your drink, meanwhile, is a very different matter.