The Four Principal Causes of Divorce from Marriage

The psychologist Dr. John Gottman refers to these factors as the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.”

Every year, 2.5 out of every 1,000 Americans divorce, according to estimates. Despite the fact that the reasons for any relationship breakdown are complex and related to a range of bigger factors, psychologists have been able to pinpoint a number of behaviors that appear to have a direct association to a couple’s divorce.

One of the leading experts on the topic is Dr. John Gottman, an emeritus professor of psychology at the University of Washington whose decades of study have been primarily concerned with marital stability and divorce prediction.

In his 1993 book What Predicts Divorce?, he identified four of the most problematic communication styles that might predict whether married couples will divorce.

1. Contempt is the lack of respect for the partner’s worries, which is frequently shown via actions like name-calling, sarcasm, angry humor, rolling of the eyes, mocking, etc.
2.Criticism is the repeated criticism of a partner’s conduct, beliefs, personality, or attractiveness.
3.Denying responsibility when criticized or given counsel is being defensive.
4.Stonewalling: Ignoring or pretended to be busy in order to avoid conversation.

Gottman refers to these factors as the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.”

Based on seven studies involving hundreds of couples, Gottman claims that it is feasible to predict which couples would divorce and which will stay together with a 90% accuracy rate. He claims that these four factors, in addition to personality types, are essential for a successful marriage.

Gottman’s website states that emotionally disengaged couples divorce an average of 16.2 years after the wedding, compared to couples that experienced the Four Horsemen divorce an average of 5.6 years after the wedding.

According to his study, disdain is the most crucial factor since it is the best predictor of whether a marriage would end in divorce. Fortunately, he has found a number of viable remedies for this marital poison.

People expressing their own wants and feelings about any given topic might temporarily make you feel less despicable. The usage of “you” pronouns should be avoided since they might offend or embarrass partners.

Long-term success depends on cultivating a culture of love and esteem for one another.

But it’s crucial to remember that, in addition to psychological factors, a multitude of cultural, economic, and legal difficulties are also associated with a higher likelihood of divorce. Throughout the 19th century, the divorce rate in the US had significant ups and downs that were strongly correlated with larger social developments. When some states made it easier to legally end a marriage, the 1970s saw the largest change in divorce rates.

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